Friday, January 25, 2013

On marriage...

I remember a conversation that Austin and I had a couple years back talking about how we are partnered together to weather the storm. An inevitable storm that lies before us full of loss, sickness, missed opportunities, regrets and brokenness. And to me that means love more than anything. It's too easy to love in the good times, but loving when it's difficult? Yes, it requires a lot of work and conditioning, but creating a system of strength, assuredly knowing it can and will withstand the storm no matter the severity, no matter the damage. 
To me, that's true love. 

For better or for worse right? (Notice the vows don't follow that up with a quick under the breath "...only when its convenient.") I've been thinking a lot about that line for better OR for worse lately and I'm thinking it should be tweaked to: for better AND for worse because honestly, there's no "or" about it. You will feel immense love and great disappointment albeit, not at the same time. Marriage isn't necessarily designed to be difficult per say, but it does mean you will experience the polar ends of each emotion of "better" and "worse" and sometimes by default that becomes rather difficult. One moment euphoria and the other debilitating pain. 

Had you asked me 4 years ago what I thought marriage was about:
 I would have said it's about choosing somebody that you want to experience all of life's joys with.

I still stand by that statement, but as I've grown older and have first hand experience to the many ups and down of marriage. I would now change my answer to: 

Choosing somebody who plans to endure to the end beside me. Somebody who is ever present in every facet of joy and sorrow and everything in-between.  Confidently knowing full well that in the moments I feel broken, I won't feel lonely.

I know whole heartily that I married the perfect person for me. That while, marriage is a whole lot more difficult than previously thought, I know that the blessings that come from it outweigh the hurt feelings and trials. I know through thick or thin he's there and always will be and that makes me so very happy.


  1. Okay, I love this and think its so funny because a couple posts ago I posted something so similar- I couldn't agree more with your whole post! Marriage is definitely not easy and when times are tough that is when it is the most important to concentrate on your relationship! Well said!:-)

  2. I loved this Sam. Thanks for this. The feeling of lonely is something that I know that I can never put up with again. Hearing you having confidence that your partner is always going to be by your side (which I know Austin and know that it is fact) makes me smile in my soul. I'm so happy and proud of you both. And not only are you two great for each other, but you are both amazing parents and Maisie is so lucky to have you both. Love you