Thursday, June 22, 2017

"Non-Stress" Tests

I have ONE more week of appointments until the induction on July 5th and I am so burned out. It doesn't help that my last two NSTs results were less than stellar. One resulting in a failure and ended up in the hospital for a few hours waiting to be discharged when baby boy finally decided to perk up enough. The next NST, the following week, while a pass (Hallelujah!!) still took a lot longer to get the desired results and accels in order to get the thumbs up to go home.

Let me share the details on my first NST the one that got me sent to labor and delivery at the hospital because it's quite the story. So I had already been having twice monthly BPP (bio physical profile) ultrasounds (now I have them once a week), so I knew that so far everything had been going great with the pregnancy thus far, baby is growing great- 50th percentile all around (truly a miracle due to his cord- we all thought he would be way on the smaller side) he's moving great, practicing breathing like a champ, motor skills are good so I went into my first NST appointment thinking it would be a breeze and take no longer than 30-45 minutes... oh boy, was I wrong. Not only did I under estimate the length of time of the appointment, but for the first time this entire pregnancy with what feels like hundreds of pre-natal/pregnancy appointments I decided to bring the girls to that one. Why, oh why, did I bring the girls to that one!? What was supposed to be a quick, usually only taking 20 minutes, hooked up, in a private room turned into my own personal version of hades.

Not only did my girls decide that this would be the perfect opportunity to be the most rambunctious, defiant, worst minders ever, but what should have been 30 minutes tops, turned into 2.5 hours! My stress level was already through the roof simply by having my evil spawn children there, but I was panicking because the OB or nurse didn't know why in the world the baby wasn't being reactive to the test. For all they knew he wasn't getting enough oxygen. So there I was trapped 45 minutes from home, meaning I couldn't even drop the girls off at a friend's house or have someone come and get them and I had to go to hospital for extended testing WITH them (not without getting a Frozen Lemonade from Chick-Fil-A on the way first because the Doctors were hoping some cold sugary drink would help baby boy pass his test quicker and because they're delicious of course).

I now know there truly is a hell and it is not made of fire and brimstone, but it is being strapped to a bed, worried sick about your unborn child, while your two other children run around a hospital room not listening to any of your bribes, threats or pleas to behave. I cried hot angry tears while unable to move to make my children listen to me. I felt like a failure as a mother "don't my children respect me?" The friendly nurse tried to diffuse my what was now tangible tension in the room by commenting that my girls were the cutest children she has ever seen "Their beautiful blue eyes! Her curly hair! Her glasses!" while I cried worried and angry tears simultaneously. I wanted Austin. I needed him, but I was alone. Austin was in charge of admistering the LSAT and it was impossible for him to leave mid test or he would have been there in a heart beat. Also, I didn't know how long I was going to be at the hospital and I really didn't want him to head over even if he could have because  1) I didn't know how long I was going to be there. I didn't want him to drive there and then half way turn around because I was discharged and 2) our other car (Wolfie) isn't registered or even insured and I didn't want him to risk getting pulled over. He was willing to drive over after the test, but I was finishing up and I would have been leaving as he was getting there. Austin hates that the day this all happened was on a day where it was impossible for him to leave, but I know he would have been there if he could have. He normally doesn't miss an appointment- he's really good about that.

Finally after a few hours baby boy decided to show off and pass the extended test. My head rang from a tension migraine,  I silently put the girls in the car and told them to not make a peep the entire ride home. I didn't yell, but the way I said it the girls immediately understood the errors of their ways. They didn't make a single sound the entire 45 minute drive home. I unbuckled them from the car took them inside, all without any words, and let Austin take over. The minute I opened my mouth to speak I uncontrollably shook with rage and cried intense sobs. Austin took the girls to their room, had a very stern and serious talk with them and put them to bed with a piece of bread each for their dinner and that was it. It took me a couple hours to stop crying, the floodgates had been opened and there was no stopping it until that river was dry.

Alls well that ends well, but that day was one of the worst days of my life. I actually have a mental list of my worst days and this ranks at number 3 (I have a good memory haha!). I was so overcome by so many conflicting emotions by days end, steam coming out of my ears anger, stomach turning worry, head and heart pounding stress and breath of fresh air relief. That my body needed to physically recover. I turned into bed way early and in the spirit of Scarlett O'Hara reminded myself that "tomorrow is another day!"

Moral of the story: Never take your children to a "Non-stress" test. It's the most ill described test I have ever heard of.

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